Last week I wrote about the new painting that I started and I wasn’t ready to share an image of it yet. Well I’m really not ready to share it now either, however I thought it clearly captured the ideas that I am working through, so here it is…
The image is a tale of two paintings. I had worked primarily on the lower portion of the painting, and got it to this point which I quite like. The upper portion of the painting was different than what you are seeing here, leaning more towards representation, but I soon realized that I wasn’t happy with that direction so I started just playing with paint and seeing where it would go, resulting in the more gestural paint handling. I quite liked what was starting to happen in the upper portion too, keeping in mind it is far from finished. The problem is I like both the upper and the lower portion of the painting, but they are two completely different paintings and are not yet aligned.
Down below there is clearly much more control. The forms, while abstracted, feel like cliffs overlooking water. Above, the paint possibly hints at something from nature but is not specifically representative. There is definitely less control in the upper half compared with the lower portion. It feels exciting to be in that unknown space but I am not sure that I am ready to dive right into full abstraction. Maybe that is where my work is eventually headed or maybe not. Right now though, I want to dip my toes in the beckoning waters a little more before fully jumping off the cliff. I don’t know if I want to make the upper portion more controlled or the lower portion less so, or maybe a little of both. What I do know is that I have faith that in the seeking that is where the growth happens. It can feel uncomfortable at times and it can feel thrilling at times, but you just have to have trust that you are moving forward. I like the search, the unknown, the abundant possibilities, yet keeping some sense of control by being attuned to what feels truly authentic to me, and making decisions based on that. I’m talking about painting here, but I could easily be talking about life.
Ha…we’ll see where this painting ends up!